Modernization has changed our perspective of living. Having spare time is like a fantasy for most of us. Long hours of jobs and merging ourselves into research fields and schooling have dominated our 24/7.
I used to be deeply constrained into my school works and nothing else. I remember it was back in July 2018 when I visited the school library and saw a book called ‘The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People’. I had gone there initially to issue my course books. But due to some reasons, I ended up borrowing The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.
Reading this most likely didn’t bring the divine changes in me. Instead, I was able to see many possible ways to live my life peacefully yet with strong principles.
This post is in addition to my previous post. Earlier, I had written on the 2 books that have played a major role to shape my life. In case you missed it, please feel free to read it – 2 Books That Completely Changed My Life.
Books I’ll be discussing:
- How to Win Friends and Influence People
- Atomic Habits
1. How to Win Friends and Influence People
– Dale Carnegie
First written in 1936, How to Win Friends and Influence People has sold over five million copies in 31 languages. Despite its oldness, its principles are still relevant as ever.
Have you ever wondered why you feel deeply connected when you are praised? We like to be appreciated, don’t we? When someone praises us, we like that person instantaneously.
On the other side, what if someone criticizes us? Without thinking much, we blindly go against that person. At any means, we try to prove ourselves right and that person wrong.
So from the next time, talk good things about people and see how easily you are able to build up your relationships. Here lies the secret to developing your personal skills by means of interpersonal skills.
Similarly, when you want to flourish your business and develop interpersonal skills, you have to talk in terms of the other person’s interest.
I love the key idea of letting people talk about themselves. People are ready to listen to you only when you let them talk first.
On the other hand, probing your thoughts only lead to boring conversation. This brings the conversation to no avail. Therefore, choose to lead by becoming genuinely interested in others.
Have you ever notice that you enjoy talking to people with whom some of your background and behavior align?
Let’s say you love reading self-help books. You are in conversation with a person who is fond of reading lots of self-help books. You both are surprised to find that both have the same favorite author. While checking your watch later no, you may not realize that you have been talking for such long hours.
This is the power of alignment. Next time, when you consider building up relations, focus more on what interests both of you. I’m sure you will have a very meaningful conversation.
These key principles from the book help to make a strong foundation of a relationship. This, in turn, benefits you in many ways to attain personal goals.
If you haven’t yet read the book, I highly recommend you to grab the book and see its role in your growth by implying the principles as stated.
Get this best selling book! (Currently available in India only)– How to Win Friends and Influence People
In case you want in eBook – How to Win Friends and Influence People
“Any fool can criticize, complain, and condemn—and most fools do. But it takes character and self-control to be understanding and forgiving.”
2. Atomic Habits
– James Clear
The technological renovation has brought immense change in our way of living. It has been difficult to form and stick to strong habits. This has raised the challenges for millennials in their development. But thanks to James Clear for introducing Atomic Habits.
It takes no time to break an established habit. Small changes in our habit gradually lead to massive improvement.
The author believes in the power of the 2-minute rule. The 2-minute rule says that we often ignore the small habits, but when we give just 2 minutes of our time to build the habits, it takes no time to make it happen. It is a gateway to the productive path.
I was pessimistic about his philosophy of the 2-minute rule. However, I thought I should give it a try. For a few days, I didn’t see any big changes in me. Only later, I came to realize that I was already establishing my habit of doing regular exercise.
If I was able to do it, then you could also initiate, can’t you?
If you want to establish the habit of running, then you put on your shoes. Likewise, you study only when you open your book. Opening your book is the gateway habit to achieve your motives for reading. Our gateway habits trigger our ultimate goals to come true.
Also, when we make our habits visible to others, we strive to make it happen. Building good habits involve making it obvious, attractive, easy, and satisfying. The same can be applied to break the bad habits but in the opposite way i.e. making habit unclear, unattractive, uneasy, and unsatisfying.
In order to form a rigid habit, we first need to understand the habit loop.
The starting point, a cue is an indication of the formation of habits. Our craving defines how we want to achieve the stated goal in the process. That’s exactly the place where we choose to take action.
Some of us might smoke when we feel stressed. Here, stress becomes the reason to smoke (cue). We then desire to light the cigarette, ultimately turning it to reality (craving). Then, we simply start smoking, thinking, “What will one cigarette do to me?” (response). We then feel the satisfaction (reward).
Similarly, once the task is done, reward plays a pivotal role to shape our habit. So, don’t forget to reward yourself with things you love when you accomplished your goals.
Another key idea from the book is habit stacking. It basically means to add up habits that are similar in nature. Make the habit of forming lists that says “ After doing exercise, I will meditate”. It’s a great way to make our tasks visible and remind ourselves of our responsibilities. If you could connect your habit to place and time, it would further become crystal clear for you to perform them. For eg: “I will do ……. at( time) ……in … (place).”
Making daily routines is serving me to remain on track and make my habits punctual. Have you formed your routine to establish habits?
So, reflect your atomic, aka tiny habits, and embrace your daily life. Always remember, small victories lead to large victories.
Get this best selling book! (Currently available in India only)– Atomic Habits
“Habits are the compound interest of self-improvement.”
I would like to sum up the article with a famous quote of a freedom fighter from India.
Can you guess who he is?
“Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.”